Where Should I Put Aside Money for My Itutu? 3 Things to Consider
April 7, 2026
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They Are Grieving Too – Just Differently
Blood family members who do not practice the religion may find themselves standing at the edges of a ceremony they do not understand, in a language they may not speak, surrounded by rituals that can feel foreign or even unsettling. Their grief is real and their love for the person who died is real. As priests, we carry the responsibility of being gracious hosts in a sacred space. That means acknowledging the blood family’s loss openly, explaining what we can in plain terms, and never making them feel like outsiders in their own mourning.
Their Cooperation Matters Practically
The Itutu involves the handling of the priest’s initiatory materials and sacred objects – things the blood family may not know exist, may not understand, or in some cases may have strong feelings about. Arrangements around timing, location, and access to the priest’s belongings often require direct conversation with next of kin. A priest who has planned ahead – and whose community knows how to communicate respectfully with non- practitioners makes this easier for everyone.
When a priest of Orisha dies, two families begin to mourn at the same time and they may barely know each other. There is the blood family: the parents, siblings, children, and spouses who loved this person across a lifetime. And there is the religious family: the godparents, godchildren, and ile who walked with them in the tradition. The Itutu belongs, in a specific sense, to the religious family. But the blood family is always present and how we receive them shapes everything.
How We Treat Them Reflects Our Tradition
The Orisha tradition teaches care, respect, and the honoring of elders and family. Blood family members who witness the Itutu are forming an impression of who we are – sometimes for the first time. When they are met with warmth, clarity, and genuine compassion, they often leave with a deeper appreciation for the community their loved one belonged to. That matters. It is also, simply, the right way to treat people who are in pain.
Planning for the Itutu means planning for both families. Orisha Legacy helps priests and their communities think through those conversations before they are urgent.
